


CATCH

by obenio



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Blood and Gore, Comfort/Angst, Doctor/Patient, Established Relationship, F/M, Idiots in Love, Medical Procedures, Minor Character Death, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romantic Fluff, Serious Injuries, Servants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26321968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obenio/pseuds/obenio
Summary: When she falls, the world shall be put on hold.
Relationships: Romani Archaman/Fujimaru Ritsuka, Romani Archaman/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 44





	CATCH

**Author's Note:**

> So like it is indicated in the tags, there are some minor graphic descriptions of gore, and there is also a spiel of medical procedures (that I'm pretty sure I did not get 100% accurate). So, a warning, I guess?
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

“How are we doing with the Rayshift configuration?!”

A muffled voice follows. The sounds of struggle and suffering flooded in his ears and imprinted into his brain. Something high-pitched startles him, overwhelming his already frightened mien. Emerald eyes still undetached, he grasps the controls, having only the slightest idea on what to do with them.

“Laplace is overheating at 200 degrees!”

_“Doctor—it’s Master! Master is—!"_

“Mash! Mash!”

He could understand nothing from the static, nor he could find anything traces of existence from the large monitor in front of him. Cold sweat ran through his forehead and down his spine, running amok throughout his frail body. The adrenaline keeps him moving and yet, fear loomed over him, lulling him to helplessness.

“We can’t get ahold of them!”

“We lost visual—we lost all contact!”

“Direct all your focus on the Rayshift, before we lose them completely!”

“Configuring coordinates—20, 3, 11, 42!”

He hears sparks and the light flashes before his eyes. Reflexes kick in and he turns away. The figure beside him takes over the panel without hesitation. He hears grunting and cursing, however, he could not comprehend a single word. It was all buried under the clamor of the enraged room. Auburn hair covered his line of sight and he was trapped in another one’s shadow. He froze unexpectedly.

“Laplace is overheating at 250 degrees, Trismegistus is also overheating at 195 degrees and is suffering malfunction, the Rayshift is unstable—Doctor! Da Vinci—!"

“There’s no time, if Trismegistus burns up, we won’t be able to get them out,” she bolts out, “commence forced Rayshift now! We’ll deal with the consequences later!”

The whole room flickers continuously. The muffled voices continued to gasp and cry in defiance until it falls static completely. Da Vinci stands tall in front of the empty screen, brows furrowed and cerulean eyes as dim as the depths of the ocean. The doctor hunches forward, standing in the process. Then, the room lights ablaze in one unspectacular display.

It falls quiet.

“The Coffins?! Did they make it?!”

The smoke engulfs the entire Command Room, stuffing their lungs. The smell of burnt wiring and overheating machines becomes too strong, making them all dazed. When light glints, though faintly, once more, gentler and gradually this time, everyone gets pulled back to their senses.

A moment’s silence—such tension could make anyone suffocate. The beating of his heart couldn’t bear the painstaking interval anymore and may as well burst. Seconds flew by in infinite hours. Finally, the smoke clears, just a little.

“I have confirmation—they made it!”

Romani runs.

* * *

The sound of the door sliding open tore Mash’s gaze off from the limp figure in her arms. A breath of relief follows as she catches glimpse of the bright ginger locks and white coat rushing inside.

“Doctor,” she calls in a panic, “S-Senpai… she—”

Jeanne d’Arc huffs as she crawls away to give way for the doctor. Her blood drips and trails on the cold floor, her flag and armor punctured and torn. Contusions decorated her porcelain skin as well as foul wounds that reeked of burnt flesh. Her lips were quivering, the edges of her eyes prickling in distressed tears. Romani crouches, giving the saint a sideways glance as his arms reached for her Master—Gudako. Several medical staff followed inside the large, almost hollow room, bringing bags of medical equipment.

As the weight lands on his arms, he despises the lightness. Despite her combat uniform, the cuts ran through and sullied her skin. At first glance, Romani notices the lacerations that adorned her body, the contusions peeking beneath the streams of blood, and the paleness of her skin. Hastily fishing a pocket-sized flashlight in his hand, he checked each of her pupils. A finger just below the nostrils and an ear to the chest. Such discomfort he felt assessing each of the damages that he almost flinches at the sight. Wounded and bruised all over, her usually gleaming face replaced with hollowness and the horrid stream of thick blood. He presses onto the large wound on her stomach, applying pressure to stop the rapid blood flow. Romani, now, could feel the blood seeping past his clothes and into his skin, much to his distress.

“Bring me a unit of plasma!” Romani instructs the medic closest to him.

“I’m sorry this happened—if I were only to reach Master in time,” Jeanne mutters in remorse. A medic crouches beside her but she pays no heed to them. Though her wounds might be fatal, the pain of remorse she feels from the horrid sight before she is far greater.

Reluctantly, Mash has also pulled away from her Master, forcibly concentrating on the medic currently talking to her and treating her wounds. From her peripheral vision, the commotion around Gudako furthermore made her anxious. She could not bring herself to leave her side, even after having all those medical professionals around her. A part of her keeps persuading to remain at Gudako’s side at all costs. There is no mistaking it—as if guilt ran through her veins. She hears the head doctor shouting more instructions, his voice ringing throughout the hollow room, piercing through the commotion. Moments later, everyone notices the sheets being pulled in, along with an IV bag.

“Takehisa, prep the med bay for surgery right away!” Romani barked in urgency.

“Right!” Takehisa left his post and out of the room in a flash.

“This was no one’s fault,” gritted Romani, responding to Jeanne’s words earlier. Slowly, he and the other medics are transferring Gudako into the sheet. Nonetheless, his hands gently rummaged around, scanning for any other damages Gudako might have accumulated internally. His calculating eyes darted back on the alarming chest wound, his gloved hand mopping up the pooling blood. “She’s having tension pneumothorax, we need to decompress this right away or else, she’ll go into shock—get Doctor Olsen to perform thoracostomy immediately. Prepare an IV with a bore needle, get her a few units of O-negative blood also—you, prepare for an MRI and CT scan, and have Doctor Huang on stand-by.”

“Yes, doctor,” replied the medics.

“Call for Nightingale, the surgeons and I will need her assistance,” Romani barks the last order before Gudako was wheeled away from the room.

“I’m gonna prep myself for surgery, I trust you to take care of Mash and Jeanne—”

“Doctor! Will Senpai be alright?” Mash asks, her voice faltering, her body almost trembling.

Halfway out of the room, Romani abruptly stills. He couldn’t answer, no matter how much thought he gives in to it. He cannot lie but he was scared to tell the truth either. He too is already trembling at the mere thought of it. Gudako’s chances of survival were very slim, it was what every doctor would say. As it pained him to do so, he ignores Mash and rushes out of the room.

* * *

“Somebody get the Sux—raise the morphine to twelve milligrams—start another IV.”

Doctor Olsen inches closer to the table, an angiocatheter in his hand. The paramedics start to cut off the tattered clothing from the patient, leaving only her underwear but Florence Nightingale, the famed nurse now-Servant, intervenes and covers her in a sheet immediately, crimson eyes glaring at whoever man is present inside. Olsen shrugs her off and hovers his hand above her side, the needle equipped and ready to be inserted.

“Where’s the head doctor?” Olsen asks, just as he inserts the needle.

“Prepping for surgery,” answered a medic.

“Get the tube ready, once she stabilizes, I‘ma put it in,” Olsen instructs the nearest nurse.

The operating room doors fling open, revealing the head doctor in scrubs and a surgical mask. A nurse assists him in putting on gloves as he rushes to the table. Olsen greets him with an update, “she’s stabilizing, at least. I’ll put the tube in when she does. Are you gonna open ‘er up, doctor?”

“There might be shrapnel in those wounds,” he answers, “also, I might have to perform laparotomy just in case.”

“I’ma take care of ‘er other wounds, then, after I get this done,” Olsen replies.

Romani smiles under the mask.

The younger doctor, Olsen, knew Chaldea’s Master very well. He was in charge of her regular check-ups when the head doctor couldn’t be around. Seeing her in this state made his stomach churn. He couldn’t bear to see it for another second more. He needed to do his job—the best that he could muster. Chaldea needs her—humanity needs her—to live. Such an exceptional human, he thinks. The burden she carries is all too much. However, he knew the head doctor is in more distress than he did—or anyone else in the room for that matter.

An hour. Romani had counted about an hour since the forced Rayshift. The blood on his hands gets thicker every time.

“Suction.” Doctor Huang’s voice echoes throughout the operating room.

“Suction.” Nightingale follows.

“Forceps, please,” uttered Romani.

Another piece of shrapnel, he finds. His emerald eyes sparkled in grit. “Clamp,” he says.

“Retractor,” Olsen instructs the nurse beside him. He pulls the flesh just enough to widen the cavity. Romani mutters his gratitude and steadily grabs the shrapnel buried in between.

“We might be just about done,” declared Olsen proudly.

“We’ll still have to stitch her up,” Romani replies.

“Oh, I’ma take it from ‘ere, doctor,” Olsen tells him. “Can you hand me the 3-O silk please?”

Romani’s emerald eyes glance at the tray full of fragments, shimmering against the bright light which engulfs them. He takes a deep breath.

“I haven’t done surgery in a long while,” he mutters in amusement. “Dammit…”

Taking off the surgical gloves, he holds his bare hands up.

“Do you need assistance, Doctor Huang?” Romani asks.

The sound of the drill has ended in a rumbling whir. Doctor Huang turns off the machination and hands Nightingale the burr drill. He glances up at the head doctor and wordlessly nodded. Romani calls a nurse for fresh gloves and makes his way to the busy neurosurgeon.

Steady hands reached up and grabbed the bone flap with the help of the elevator, Huang thrusts it into Romani’s hands quietly. Romani quails for a brief moment before glancing up at Nightingale, “get me a scalpel and spatula please,” he said as he settles the flap onto a nearby tray.

Nightingale grabs them from the tray and hands them to Romani.

“Pressure: ninety over seventy-five; pulse: eighty.”

“Suction, Ms. Nightingale,” said Huang.

Nightingale glares as she watches the blood ooze and disappears into the suction tube. She remains placid throughout the process which was strange enough in itself. Under normal circumstances, Nightingale would argue that amputation would be the best solution possible, carrying a saw whilst at it even, and normally, Romani would laugh and shrug it off, explaining to her that modern advances of medicine have devised treatments that won’t require amputation anymore. The silence and passivity of Nightingale this time around—Romani thinks about it briefly—maybe, she understood the risk. The nurse, however, in truth, was just at a complete loss. The amount of damage her Master had accumulated continues to baffle her. Had she been in that fight, Gudako wouldn’t have to suffer this much, the nurse would’ve made sure of it. The regret flows into her core—as a nurse, as her Servant. The frown only sinks deeper as her crimson eyes study all that flesh and bone. Nightingale couldn’t recognize her Master anymore, no, this was just a remnant of her, a lithe and frail body of a critical patient. Such a petite woman should hold all of humanity, however, the amount of flesh and blood that she’s seen was far too great from a single person.

“Irrigation, Ms. Nightingale,” called Huang. Water ran through the flesh and he caught it with the suction tube in his hand. Giving the head doctor a sideways glance, “you pressure this young miss too much, Romani.”

Huang is a man of formality. Old and on the brink of retirement, he had served as the head doctor before Romani had taken over. It was at his request too, after finding the young man having greater capabilities more so than him. Nonetheless, the young doctor asked him to stay and cover the neurology department until another one gets hired.

Which, to his dismay, didn’t happen.

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t account for what happened as well—"

Such a complicated Singularity that was. Even he was at loss for what had happened.

“I take it that they weren’t able to fix it—can I get an elevator, Ms. Nightingale?”

“They did—they must’ve… we had confirmation but… it was too sudden—"

Huang presses the elevator on the head doctor’s hand. Romani flinches and nods quietly. “We’re gonna seal the flap back on,” he starts, “we need those titanium screws, Nightingale!”

“Pressure: eighty over sixty; pulse: fifty,” the anesthesiologist declared, “and it’s dropping.”

The room immediately sunk and tension loomed. Olsen is the first to move, cursing and shuffling in haste. He abandons his stitching and presses his hand gently over the chest cavity.

“I was just ‘bout ta close up—dammit!” They could hear Olsen hiss.

“Get another unit of O-negative blood and an IV!” Romani calls.

The head doctor breathes again—much deeper than the last. Doctor Huang looks to him, worry oozing from his slim eyes. Romani doesn’t notice though, for his hands are in a far too delicate state. He couldn’t let himself be distracted, even for one bit.

Romani looks at the large hole that Huang had drilled into the woman’s skull. The clamp in his hands was trembling. “What’s going on in there, Doctor Olsen?” Romani calls again.

“A-A loose fragment m-might’ve pierced ‘er heart—I can’t say for sure!” Olsen speaks up.

“I’ve accounted for all of them! I couldn’t have missed one!” Romani blurts in disbelief.

“She’s gonna go into cardiac arrest if we don’t do something,” said the anesthesiologist.

Despite his years, his sharp eyes have noticed the slight trembling. He grits his teeth underneath the mask and glares. “Focus, Romani Archaman!” Huang scolds him. “Olsen, keep her pressure running just until Romani gets there. Ms. Nightingale, Mr. Santiago, assist me here, we’ll seal this woman’s skull!”

When Santiago holds the bone flap in place, Romani shuffles away and rushed to Olsen’s side. He pries his gloves off in haste as a nurse places a fresh one into his naked hands.

“Get the rib spreader,” Romani orders. “Olsen, help me open her up again, we’re gonna do a thoracotomy this time.”

* * *

There were moments of disorientation when she finally opened her eyes.

She could not see very well, or rather, she thought she couldn’t. What surrounded her field of vision were only flickers of white. She blinked an unaccountable number of times until her eyes finally adjusted to the sudden light.

Everything was indeed white—from the ceiling, the curtains, the walls, and even the fluorescent light.

All at once, she felt cramped. She could feel the pain situating everywhere in her body, whether it was from not moving for, she guessed, a long while, or something else entirely. Ever so slightly, she attempted to move a muscle—a finger, at most, but there was only pain greeting her, making her wince.

Golden orbs shifted but nothing much has changed. It was all still white. For a moment, she thought she was dead—if it wasn’t for the pain jolting throughout her body. A familiar white though, she thinks this time. As they blink, the white remains. She could very much feel her heart pumping and her mind racing. Too many thoughts ran through her head as her eyes desperately scan around.

A voice protrudes her train of thoughts.

“You’re up early.”

When she closes her eyes, she could see a large coil, rusty gears, and a mob of soldiers. Head hammering, there was inexplainable adrenaline pumping through her veins. She gasps and sputters. Suddenly, the real world catches up.

There was an attempt to try and veer her head. The voice allures her very much so.

“Don’t try anything though,” interrupted the voice. “You just got out of ICU a few hours ago.”

As if she only came alive just now, her ears perked at the sound of the heart monitor. Her senses could feel traces of bandages wrapped around… well, everywhere. She opens her mouth, struggling at saying something, at least, anything coherent.

“W-what… h-happe—?”

“You’re a survivor.”

Survivor of what exactly? She tried to think but the memories are still fuzzy. Whenever she closed her eyes, there were only blurred images and nothing more. She could not make them out.

Before she knew, a figure pops into her line of sight. All she could figure was it was a man with ginger hair—long ginger hair tied into a ponytail, dressed in a white coat with green lining and gleaming emerald eyes.

“Your friends made it out too,” he says. “I’m sure you’re worried—or you’re gonna be, once you remember.”

She couldn’t exactly catch up to what he was saying but for whatever reason, her features soften. The doctor must have noticed it too for he smiled from ear to ear.

“They’re still asleep, I’ll let them know you awoke in the morning,” he added.

“D-D—”

“Don’t attempt to, Gudako,” he says. “I know—it’s me, the very lovable Doctor Roman.”

Gudako smiles, only slightly. It was the best she could do.

Romani keeps his gaze at her for a second, his own jovial smile faltering into a sad one. His hand reaches out onto hers, which was covered in bandages. A pulse oximetry wrapped around her finger made it almost impossible but Gudako curls her able fingers into his.

Her eyes squints and her lips quiver.

“You’re really alive, I’m so glad you are, you—” Romani stops. “Do you remember what happened? Don’t move your head! I can understand as much as—”

“Doc-tor… I-I’m s-so—” her voice is too hoarse to be even understood.

“Don’t be, this is no one’s fault, don’t beat yourself up over it, okay? We’re just very glad that you survived.”

Those golden eyes say otherwise. Romani sighs.

His other hand reaches out. Faintly, he touches the unbandaged skin in her paling face. The warmth is barely there, barely holding on even.

So, he holds her hand tighter.

* * *

Buried underneath all that scrub, Romani’s face cannot be mistaken. Gudako makes it certain that she sees those bright eyes and tousled ginger hair whenever she could.

“Have you had any idea what you put me through, Gudako?” Romani exhales, rather dramatically.

Gudako wants to apologize, for everything. She knows it hadn’t been easy keeping her alive all this time. However, the edges of his eyes crinkle, indicating that he is smiling genuinely. She still couldn’t speak sentences, just little utterances—it reminds herself of Fran.

“You put me through three hours of surgery, seventy-two hours of continuous monitoring—you had forced me to even set up an improvised ICU right here in the med bay and now, I have to keep watching you every two hours…” he spoke in such melancholic tone. However, he gazes up and meets her apologetic gaze.

“Thank you, Gudako,” he said. “Not just because you pulled through but… I felt like a real doctor again.”

His chuckled echoed inside the enclosed space they are in. “It has been a while since I step foot inside the operating room. No one really needed major surgery, mostly it was just stitches and contusions, maybe an appendectomy or two from the staff, but nothing like this.”

Gudako’s eyebrows furrowed a little. Then, the doctor bursts into laughter. His thumb strokes the crinkles in her forehead softly, calming the woman.

“Don’t get me wrong, you scared the hell outta us all and no way would I want to see you like this _ever_ , but because of this, I finally did something… something creditable, I guess.”

“Y-You’re… w-wel-come…”

That smile. She forces that smile again, Romani knows. He could feel his cheeks warming up because of it.

“Y-You… blushing… huh?” What a lopsided smirk.

Even in that state, Gudako remains a keen observer and her penchant for teasing him will always remain strong.

Perhaps, this here is keeping her strong.

“I better get another IV,” he mutters, getting up in a hurry.

* * *

_“Her ICP is spiking up again, it was twenty a couple of hours ago and now it’s climbed to thirty-five.”_

_“Her EEGs are showing subclinical seizure activity.”_

_“There is a chance that she might not wake up anytime soon.”_

The body jolts as he abruptly awakes. Suddenly, he felt his nape and arms cramping and wrapped in cold sweat.

Romani registers the white desk beneath his folded arms.

Before he could even recover himself, he stood up and turned around. The room was dark and somewhat colder. The silence deafens him.

He perks up as he remembers. His systems becoming alive. Three steps forward, he aims for the door but something met his foot and he stumbles. Romani huffs in annoyance, still, the mess should’ve been familiar though.

The hallways of Chaldea were empty and cold. It was a common sight now, for them. Before the terrorist explosion, Chaldea was brimming with vigor from its large number of staff however, now, with only less than half of the employees alive, almost everything became empty. Nothing but titanium alloys, iron posts and concrete greets him these days. He could even hear the blizzard from outside with all this silence. The lights are dim, the snowstorm howls, the temperature has dropped immensely, and yet, as numbing as it is, he continues to run.

The medical bay was one of the few facilities that remained intact from the explosion about almost a year ago. Romani knew every inch of it by heart. Every cabinet, every desk, every pathway that leads to it. How he wanted to get away and discover something new inside the halls of Chaldea. Now, his mind is screaming, berating him for leaving the medical bay.

Before, he might’ve escaped it, hid away from it, but now, he comes running back to it.

Back to _her_.

The doors whir as it slides open. He looked very troubled. The nurse inside noticed right away.

“Doctor! Y-You’re back too early..?!” The nurse blurts out.

“How is she?”

“She’s still… the same. I mean, it hasn’t been a while since you last checked,” she answers.

“Is she awake?” He asks.

“No, she’s resting right now,” the nurse replies.

Romani breathes deeply, recovering from the ill-timed sprint. Atop the nurse’s desk was a tablet with a record of Gudako’s vitals. He reaches for it and skims through the details. The nurse doesn’t say anything and instead, goes over to the makeshift room they hastily set up.

The records still bemuse him. _Pressure: 110 over 78; pulse: 80; temperature: 36 degrees; urinary output: 46CCs per hour—_ he couldn’t understand it. Everything seemed normal. There was no need to panic and yet, he ran like there was no tomorrow. He glances up and peaks through the curtain adjacent to him. He sees Gudako lying there, peacefully. The nurse is tending to her, checking her IV and heart monitor.

She looked healthier. The progress of her recovery is too fast for any patient he has encountered. Suddenly, a bad feeling sits atop his stomach. Soon enough, the woman will enter Singularities and fight another battle. Romani commends her willpower, heck, he envies it even. However, he was at a loss.

God, he needed her to get back on her feet desperately but at the same time, he didn’t want her to fight another battle.

“Doctor!” A familiar voice settles in.

He forces himself to turn away and towards the open doors and finds Mash panting, looking extremely worried. “Is Senpai alright?!” Mash asks.

“Why are you—?”

“I saw you running, so I thought—”

“No, Ms. Gudako is fine, Ms. Mash,” the nurse answers, emerging from the curtains. “There is no need to worry.”

The doctor still couldn’t believe it though. He glances back at Mash, with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry Mash, I made you worry too much again,” he mumbled.

“Doctor, you’re working yourself up again,” the young woman scolds.

Mash’s tone catches him off guard. It has been a while since the young woman scolded him for something, he realizes. Though, he’d be lying if he says he had missed it.

Before he could say something, a shadow comes flying towards him and smacks him in the face making him yelp at the contact. Fluffy but suffocating fur meets his face. He recognizes it right away, “Fou, get off!” He whines, “that hurt!”

The little creature clung onto his shoulder and barked at his ear, “fou! Fou!”

Hands latch onto his arm. Romani looks and sees Mash pulling on him.

“Senpai needs her rest and she’ll never get any if you keep barging on her like this!” Mash berates.

“Aren’t you worried about your Senpai yourself?”

“Yes, I do, but if anything, I have faith in her that she’ll recover. She’ll say she’s overcome worse than this and smile like always—you, on the other hand, better have faith in her too!”

Young Mash was right. Although, in all honesty, Romani just couldn’t really keep himself away from Gudako, no matter her condition was. He needed to be close, to have her just within his sight so he can reassure himself that she won’t slip away. There had been too many close calls, Romani didn’t want to face another.

However, maybe, just this once, he’ll follow the young girl’s advice. Romani sighs as he goes along with Mash.

* * *

Romani enters the medical bay but he abruptly halts at the huge crowd that meets him. The panic etches into his face and his systems that he almost dropped the tray of food in his hands. He tiptoes and tries to peek through the gaps but it was too crowded, indeed. He looks around, alarmed at the number of people scuffling inside that he screams—

“What the heck is going on here?!”

Everyone falls silent and all eyes turn to him. Romani panics once again.

It was all of Gudako’s Servants.

“Isn’t it obvious that we wanted to see our Master? You’ve kept her from us for long enough,” grumbled Jeanne Alter.

“She still can’t see people and interact too much!” Romani hollered back. “You’ll tire her too much!”

“Doctor—I swear, I tried to keep them at bay but, they all overpowered me!” Mash cries from within the silent crowd.

He groans, not even making an effort to hiding it. The Servants caught a whiff of his aggravation instantaneously. He breathes deeply, “Gudako’s still too weak to even keep up with a conversation—now get out! Let her rest!” Romani barked at the Servants. “She wasn’t even supposed to have visitors yet, yes even you, Mash—I know you’ve been sneaking around whenever I’m not around!”

“H-How did you—?" Mash looked surprised, then very guilt-ridden.

Someone clears their throat and Mash clamps shut. Romani glares at the other Servants, pleading compliance with his orders. It was a good thing that they caught the drift. One by one, the Servants cleared the room, grumbling, and cursing, until Mash was the only one left. Romani raises a brow at her.

“They must’ve seen me sneaking in that they thought that it was already okay to see her—I’m sorry!”

“My, my, Romani—finally growing a backbone, I see?” Da Vinci chimes from the door.

“Da Vinci—”

“Please, don’t force yourself, my dearest Gudako,” she replies sweetly. “I just want to check up on you, but it seems like I shouldn’t have worried.”

“Da Vinci, you—”

“I know, I shouldn’t be here anyway,” Da Vinci chuckled, eyes landing on Romani’s stern gaze. “Besides, I’m still working on fixing Trismegistus. So, I’ll leave her to you, Romani. Come, Mash, you can assist me with the repairs.”

The doors slid open and the posh woman went through. Mash feels a hand patting her head. She turns to see Romani smiling reassuringly, “Da Vinci is waiting, Mash,” he says. “I promise, you’ll be the first to see her the moment she’s ready.”

Mash nods, bids her farewell and proceeded to walk out of the room.

Romani watches as the doors slide close. Then, he felt a fist smacking his wrist, albeit weakly. The doctor turns to Gudako with a sheepish grin, “I do hope you’re not angry at me for driving your Servants away,” he laughs quietly.

Gudako just glares. Romani expected as much. Sighing, he silently proceeds to help her sit up. The doctor checks her monitor before pulling up the nearby stool and taking his seat beside the cot. He grabs the tray of food from the bedside table and settles it on the bed.

“Your stomach should be able to digest solid food now,” he said. “Emiya made this especially for you, by the way.”

Before Gudako could even attempt to lift her arm, Romani already grabbed the spoon. She looks at him incredulously as he blows on the hot porridge. He remains oblivious even as he lifts the spoon to her lips. Without a word, she obliges.

It has been a long while since she’s had any solid food. Even Emiya’s simple porridge worked wonders for her mood almost immediately. “I’m glad you like it, then again, it’s Emiya we’re talking about here,” Romani remarks, “he’s been tremendous help ever since you managed to summon him.”

As he feeds her, he couldn’t help but dart his eyes onto the numerous bandages that covered the woman’s body. Even with the blankets she layered herself in, it was all too evident—the damned bandages wrapped around her left arm, newly replaced, just earlier; the bandage on her right jaw; and Romani could see the bandages wrapped around his shoulder and torso slipping through from the crevices of her gown. Even if she made an effort to put on a _haori_ (courtesy of Okita Souji) _,_ it just proved futile. Under the blankets hid the bandages wrapped on her left ankle and all over her entire right leg. Romani could also see a bruise peeking from her forehead, no matter how much she curtained her face with her deep vermillion hair. All just seemed miserably futile.

Gudako furrows her eyebrows closer. “You worry… too much… doctor,” her voice is still hoarse, but not as horrendous as the first day of her wake.

“I really do worry too much,” he chuckles. “I apologize if I seem insufferable but it’s because I’m a doctor, so of course, I care about my patients,” he rambled. “Let’s not forget that you’re humanity’s last Master, you’re the very core of this operation, so I can’t have you dying on me!”

She sinks her head, “yes, I get it, doc…” she giggles… or at least, attempted to.

He sighs again, “but most importantly, Gudako, you’re important to me. It’s because of you that I’m still breathing hope; that I would, still… well, I wouldn’t have anyone to hide away with. To be honest, there are still many things I don’t know about being… well, let’s just say, you make me see things from a newer perspective. I’m a coward, a pessimist and hopeless but then, maybe, I realize, there’s more to what living is, just by watching you save humanity.”

“Doctor…” she whispers. “I just happened… to be… the one who owned your hideout.”

“Please don’t think of it that way, Gudako… I can’t have you belittling yourself, that’s my role.”

Gudako opens her mouth, attempting to muster more words but she halts as Romani cups her cheeks with his gloved hands.

“It’s selfish but, when this has come to the end, I want to be the reason that you’re able to stand tall again,” he mutters.

Head hung low, he still hides as he pours his heart out. But, Gudako could clearly see the obvious red tint on the doctor’s cheeks. Suddenly, the heart monitor beeps a little too fast from normal. Romani panics as he detaches away and checks the monitor, sputtering nonsense and medical jargon in incomprehensible sentences but Gudako only laughs, despite the pain in her abdomen.

Romani only calms down when he realizes Gudako is blushing and grinning too.

* * *

“You actually bore a hole in my skull?!” Gudako shrieks.

“It was the best way to get the blood out,” Romani explained. “To be frank, you’re quite lucky that it was only a craniotomy, not a craniectomy, or else, it will really set us all back.”

“What’s the freaking difference?!”

“In craniectomy, we won’t return the piece of skull we drilled out but instead, we’ll be replacing it but, that’ll take months,” Romani replies. “Craniotomy is just making a hole and screwing back up with the same bone.”

“Wait, hold the shit—screw?!”

“Yeah, we used titanium screws to secure your skull.”

It’s to Gudako’s absolute horror to discover that Romani could talk about drilling someone’s skull while chuckling and being an adorable little shit. Her hands drop the tablet containing her MRI scans subconsciously and it lands haphazardly on her lap.

“Also, apologies, my Gudako, for we had to shave a portion of your hair clean,” Romani adds sheepishly.

Gudako whines and groans as she buries her face into her palms. Her horrors only amplified as Romani bursts into laughter.

“I haven’t even covered half of what happened at the operation,” he chirps.

“You’re a monster!” Gudako growls.

The doctor raises his hands in defense while giving the best smile he could muster.

Suddenly, the doors slide open, revealing an excited Mash and Fou entering inside the medical bay.

“Mash!” Gudako cries desperately, “get me away from this monster! He’s a psychopath! Fou scratch his face for me! Avenge me!”

“Senpai? What happened?”

“He drilled a hole into my skull and had the audacity to laugh while telling me so!” Gudako cried as she buried her face onto Mash’s arms.

“I haven’t even told her about the part where I had to rip open her chest, spread her ribs and suture her heart,” Romani adds teasingly.

“You demon! You’re damn worse than a Demon God Pillar! Mash, protect me!” Gudako is hugging and clinging onto Mash like a lifeline now.

Mash exhales and pats the horrified woman on the back, “well, they were necessary to save you, Senpai,” she soothed. “If it weren’t for the doctors’ expertise, you wouldn’t have survived.”

“But they shaved my hair!” Gudako cried.

“Please Senpai, don’t aggravate your injuries,” Mash beckons, while gently tugging on her shoulders.

Romani continues to laugh but Mash only glares at him, “and you! Don’t tease Senpai like that, doctor!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he comforts her. “Gudako, I’m sorry… forgive me?”

The woman lifts her head and sticks out her tongue at the doctor… and he bursts into laughter again.

* * *

_“Senpai—”_

_“Master!”_

_“You’ll die here—with me!”_

_“Get off, get off, get off—”_

_“Die, die, die with me, Master of Chaldea!”_

_“Gu—ko! W—t ha—ni—?”_

“— _ter! Maste_ r!”

_“Die, die with us! Die with these pieces of shit you call comrades!”_

_“No! No! NO!”_

_“G-Gu—!"_

_“—ter!”_

“Master!”

A blood-curdling scream.

Pain gushes from every inch of her body, jolting her awake. She groans and cries. Warm hands and crimson eyes reach out to her but everything is a blur. Her ears rang loudly, echoes of gunfire and barrages repeats and the darkness obscures everything like smoke. Her hands feel warm but she flinches and pries it away—like a reflex. This overwhelming warmth triggers a phantom sound, something akin to an explosion. Gudako covers herself and crawls away, attempting to escape. The sharp pain becomes numb and she grasps forward, reaching to seize something.

Something cold touches her fingertips but she slips before she could even grab it. She falls and collapses onto something colder and she screams again.

Agony is clinching. She could taste bitter and salt. Her bones felt like thorns, her flesh melting away, and all she could hear was her own self, bawling. Someone holds her back and she cries again, for help this time.

“Get off! Get away!” Repeats, each time getting more desperate.

A sharp light pierces through her blurry vision and a silhouette greets her. Before she could get away, something grasps and cages her from behind.

“Gudako! Gudako! Hey, wake up, it’s me! It’s Doctor Roman!”

“Master, get ahold of yourself!” It’s Nightingale. “Or else, I’ll be amputating your legs!”

She is panting, unable to move. The pain had caught up and she felt the blood gush through her arms, down her legs once more. She finally wakes up, realizing she’s on the ground, her face pain-stricken and wet with tears. Cold sweat ran down her spine, through her tight bandages.

Gudako gasps for breath.

“It—It… I—”

Romani’s hands reach out to cup her cheek and wipe her tears away.

Suddenly, her vision becomes a bit clearer.

She could see his face, dripping with concern. Gudako whimpers, “I s-should’ve…”

Before she could finish, Romani latches himself onto her, arms supporting her entire figure. His hands went up to her nape, to her head, securing her onto him. Nightingale watches, still girdling onto her Master’s hips and torso. Her crimson eyes fell forlorn. She hated seeing Gudako this weak, vulnerable and scared—and she couldn’t do anything about it.

“I saw—I saw all of it… t-they went off… before my eyes and killed… it killed every—and he-he kept clutching onto me..!”

“Gudako, it’s over, it’s already over, it’s not your fault—it’s no one’s fault!” Romani consoles her.

“I-It… h-hurts…”

“Get some morphine,” Romani whispers to Nightingale. “About ten milligrams.”

“Billy, Georgios… t-they’re—”

“Shh…”

Nightingale comes back, the syringe in her hands. She mouths, _“sedative?”_

Romani shakes his head.

“Gudako… shh… it’s not your fault, no one could’ve known it would happen—Gudako, they wouldn’t blame you either,” he whispers into her ear.

He begins rocking her gently. Gudako is still quivering, whimpering, and muttering the same names over and over. Romani worked on the syringe quietly, letting the woman wallow in sorrow.

Losing Servants is something Gudako always took too hard.

“You’re bleeding, Gudako,” he mutters, “let me patch you up, okay? Let’s patch you up, okay? I’m gonna give you a pain killer to ease the pain, but help me out here… please?”

The doctor lifts her gown and hovers the syringe above the skin. “Breathe deep,” he says.

Gudako winces as the needle stabs her flesh but it was only of such insignificant pain.

“You okay, Gudako? Is it still painful?” Romani pulls away slightly, just so he could see her face.

How heartbreaking it is to see that pain-stricken face. The tears won’t stop spilling, the hurt and guilt in her eyes, those damned bandages, those traces of blood on her cheeks. He clutches onto her tighter, guiding her back into reality.

“Breathe, Gudako, breathe… my dear, breathe…”

Shaky and hitched breaths, but it was a start.

“Help me get her up, Nightingale,” Romani calls.

* * *

“Doctor, don’t go away…” she mutters.

Traces of tears remained evident from her tired, golden eyes. To Romani, her eyes once shone like the sun. He stared into those eyes and it sparked like the summer fireworks he yearned; he saw dawn and dusk; like honey—undeterred, strong and sweet; he saw neither grey and dread, like his former self but instead, it shone of life and hope. But now, like his former’s eyes, falls void of wonder, pitiful and drips tragedy.

Those eyes shouldn’t falter, shouldn’t witness tragedy, shouldn’t shed a tear of sorrow.

At least, that’s what he thought.

“I won’t, don’t worry. I’ll be here to monitor you for the whole night,” Romani replies in his usual tone.

It wasn’t the answer she wanted.

“If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll have Nightingale and me keep this a secret,” Romani suggests.

The young woman only nods slightly.

This won’t do, Romani thinks. He sits down on the stool beside the cot and watches her calculatingly. Her unsteady breathing, the soft flutter of her eyes, every little shift of muscle. He sighs inaudibly and settles the tablet in his hands on the bedside drawer. _This won’t do._

“Your coat… I got it messy again. I’m sorry,” she mutters.

Romani chuckles, “don’t worry about it.”

Suddenly, an idea pops into his head.

He pulls on the zipper of his coat, shrugs it off, and kicked off his white shoes, leaving only his white pants and black turtleneck shirt. He then kneels onto the cot and climbs in, startling Gudako awake.

Realizing the doctor is above her, a blush as red as her hair colors her face. Their eyes meet and for the first time that night, Romani sees a spark of life in her eyes. He smiles at the loving sight and closes in to peck her in the forehead. He settles beside her and cradles her figure securely into his arms.

“It’s just like whenever we hide from Mash or Da Vinci,” Romani chuckles before he suddenly blanches in panic, “I’m not hurting you anywhere, am I?”

Gudako giggles as she shakes her head, “no, no!”

“There’s that smile…” he beams at her.

She lifts her hand and pulls Romani’s hair tie, setting his long ginger hair loose.

He kisses her forehead again.

* * *

He was confused, so to say, when he finds Gudako, unconscious, being carried by her Servant, Robin Hood. Behind the man in green is Jeanne d’Arc, looking unscathed and healthy but sporting a gloomy expression on her face. Romani comes across the two Servants in an intersecting hallway which is one of the paths leading to the medical bay. He already had his suspicions.

“What happened to her?!” Romani almost screams in panic.

Her uniform looked very creased, her face looked uneasy and the bandages wrapped around her looked old. Robin glanced down at her figure and back at the doctor, “we had a talk, chief,” he replies. “Relax, she just fell asleep.”

Romani realizes what Robin meant by talk.

Jeanne behind them is the biggest clue, after all.

“How is she holding up?” Romani asks.

“I had to keep the kids in check but still, Paul asked about Billy,” Robin replies, “then, Master had a panic attack. I had to take her away. It was a good thing Lady Jeanne, here, came and calmed her down.”

“I see,” Romani mumbled.

Robin didn’t want to say anything, for he knew that tone. One that is hiding brimming concern.

It had been a tragedy that out of the four Servants she had brought with her to the Singularity, only two made it out. Robin understood and never blamed anyone for it. Although, his Master thought otherwise. Billy was a sweet kid and Georgios was courageous and strong-willed and both were close to Gudako. When the explosion occurred, she was forced to watch as both were disintegrated by the flames. Jeanne refrained from saying something throughout the walk to the medical bay. She, too, just feels as much as responsible.

She should’ve been faster. She should’ve jumped higher. Maybe, just maybe, she could’ve pulled both Servants out of the trajectory and protected Master before the debris crushed her.

“Please, don’t say anything to Mash nor any other Servants,” Romani voices out as they around at the doors of the medical bay.

Romani barely got Trismegistus to work during that time. Everyone’s existence disappeared all at once and suddenly, it short-circuited. If he only had accounted for the bomb then, maybe, they would still be alive. He was at a loss too, during that moment. If anything, he also considered himself at fault for the tragedy.

“You know, no one is at fault for what happened, even you, chief,” Robin speaks up after settling Gudako on her cot. “Not even the best technology could sense man’s deceits. He was a cunning bastard and even if he disintegrated with the explosion, he still won. He got everyone in here riled up and guilt-ridden for something that he did.”

“But still, I should’ve stayed with Master throughout the infiltration—it was originally my plan that we split up and look at where it had gotten us to,” Jeanne finally spoke.

“I reinforced that plan, Da Vinci did too,” Romani replies. “Everyone agreed, even Billy and Georgios.”

“You know, if you keep speaking about that in here, in her presence, I’ll shoot your throats,” Nightingale intervenes. Despite her short height, her crimson glare made all three other figures cower under her.

“Shouldn’t a nurse not threaten to kill people?” Robin retorts.

“I see a sickness, I shall do everything to cure it,” she replies. “What happened in that Singularity is a gonna be a long-term disease for Master if you keep on talking and taking shifts on the blame.”

“We just don’t want her to feel guilty—”

“She’s grieving not because she feels responsible for her Servants’ death, she’s grieving because she lost two friends,” Nightingale hisses.

Gudako stirs, alarming the four other people inside. At that instant, Nightingale shoves all three people out of the makeshift room.

“Georgios has been with her since France and Billy since our journey in America. She’s formed a bond with them, pure and healthy. In a war, a victory is hollow when you’ve lost your comrades. I’ve seen that plenty around when I was alive so I understand what Master’s feeling. Robin’s right, no one’s to blame for the incident so let Master grieve to herself,” the nurse continued. “Once she recovers, there’s not a lot of time to grieve anymore, ain’t it? Now, as she recovers her physical injuries, let her heal her emotions too. That’s the only cure for this disease.”

Everyone falls silent.

“Nightingale…” called a weak, tired voice from beyond the curtains.

All of their attention went back to the now-roused Gudako. As they enter, they watch as she pushes herself to sit up.

“Yes, Master? Feel uncomfortable anywhere? I can amputate it,” she answers.

Gudako chuckles, however, it was void of any life. Romani could feel his heart breaking at the sight.

She’s heard it all, Romani could tell.

Strangely though, the redhead raises her hand containing her Command Spells and furrows her brows, “I won’t beat around the bush—Da Vinci told me something interesting today…”

“What is it, Master?” Nightingale didn’t like where this is going.

“Tell me about _the_ secret group chat!”

* * *

“Please don’t force yourself, Gudako!”

“If you’re gonna continue whining, we might as well be caught again!”

“Yes, yes, Nightingale and Da Vinci got us good,” he grumbles. “Those two, I swear, they’re out to humiliate me! I can’t believe they took a picture of us cuddling and sent it to their group chat.”

“I’m more frustrated at the fact that they didn’t invite me to that group chat! Even Mash is even part of it and she managed to keep it a secret!” Gudako whined, “but anyway, this is why we’re hiding out in my room, like you usually do.”

“This isn’t like those nights where everyone takes a breather.”

“When has that ever stop you?” Gudako giggles, “I know the medical department and the Rayshift repairs are stressing you out, plus, I’m well on my way on my recovery, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Still, as your doctor—”

“Weren’t you the one who told me I’m well enough to walk and do some simple exercises? Didn’t you also say that my wounds have mostly healed up? Who was there when Doctor Huang finally took the bandage off my head and who supervised my physical therapy?”

A dramatic sigh. “Gudako, if Nightingale finds out you’re not in bed, she’s gonna go out for the kill and I’ll be the first one on her list!”

“Well technically, I am _in_ my bed, just here in my room—besides, I miss the privacy of my room,” she winks playfully. “Don’t you?”

He turns crimson at that remark.

“Honestly, I can feel Kiyohime peeking through my curtains or the ceiling in the middle of the night!”

“You know, I caught Jeanne Alter and Saber Alter trying to sneak in also, and if it weren’t for Emiya’s intervention, I would’ve been reduced to ashes—”

That was a wrong move, Romani realized. He felt Gudako’s hand quiver, as well as slow down until she goes into a complete stop. Their playful atmosphere deteriorates into something wretched and heavy. He never wanted to throw himself into the deadly blizzard outside more than ever.

“I’m sorry, Gudako, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—!” Romani panics.

Gudako turns to him with a sad smile, “I know, I know…” she soothes him.

Romani bites his lip. He never hated himself more than ever.

However, he wasn’t going to let this awkward silence ruin the night.

“Gudako, let’s go,” he never sounded very determined more than ever also. “Let’s go hide!”

Now it is him who is pulling her.

Romani had to admit, he missed goofing off and hiding at Gudako’s room, bringing sandwiches or cake from the pantry and enjoying a conversation. He missed having her in his arms; having himself in her arms. He missed the spark in her eyes whenever she told him the journey she’s had, the parts where he couldn’t be on comms. He missed being open and vulnerable with her. Hell, he even missed having to make excuses to Da Vinci and Mash for his momentary absences. Tonight may be the only night, in the longest time, where everything seems to stop—when he isn’t stressing over the next Rayshift, when he isn’t monitoring everyone’s vitals and commanding from the comms—when all of humanity takes a moment’s breather.

After making sure that no one’s around, Romani pulls Gudako inside and everything falls into silence once more.

Hesitantly, he wraps his arms around her waist. “So…”

To be honest, he hadn’t thought about what are they going to do after they arrive in her room.

“Thank you, doctor…” she mumbles.

“Roman, call me Roman.”

“Thank you… Roman.”

“Well, that sounded—”

“—forced? Well, the only time I called you ‘Roman’ was when I tell you to shut up over the comms.”

“To be frank, that hurt.”

Gudako grasps his shoulders, then his nape. “I apologized every time. It’s just that you have such bad timing. Mash already told you too many times to control what you say at all costs. This is why a lot of Servants diss you when they first meet you.”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry too, Guda—”

She pulls him down and crashes their lips together. He kisses back with the same fervor.

* * *

The Command Room buzzes with incessant commotion. Leonardo Da Vinci, the genius extraordinaire, turns a deaf ear to it. Instead, her eyes are glued to the bright monitors.

Different sets of numbers ran through the screen. Data. Important data. The posh woman inches closer, a hand hovering over the keyboard, the other holding a cup of coffee. She merely watches as the numbers and codes flicker but she takes everything in as imperative and significant.

The doors to the Command Room opens and it forces Da Vinci out of a trance. She looks back with a curious gaze and found herself smiling at the cause.

“Rayshift is ready to go,” he chirps. “Gudako and Mash are on their Coffins.”

“Okay then,” Da Vinci chimes. “Commencing Rayshift.”

_‘Unsummon Program Start’_

As the system launches itself, Da Vinci gives the doctor a sideways glance. “I’m surprised that you relented immediately when she said that she’s ready for another Rayshift,” she notes.

Romani smiles knowingly, followed by a chuckle, “I have complete faith in her. But, I’m still worried though, that is why I had better take a closer watch on her vitals for this mission.”

The woman hums. “Got enough good luck kisses, though?” Da Vinci teases.

Romani goes beat red.

“Hey, one can never have too many kisses in their lifetime and you, sir, don’t exactly know if you have a lot of life left to live,” Da Vinci points out.

Da Vinci shifts herself off the chair and paves way for Romani.

“I know, Da Vinci,” he sighs, “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> We need some Doctor Roman action so I tried to write as best as I could.
> 
> I'm sorry for killing off Billy and Georgios too, in case they are your favorite Servants. I treasure them too, so it was hard for me to kill them off in this fic.
> 
> Criticism is welcome and appreciated. Please, excuse my grammar as English isn't my first language also, I apologize if the characters seemed a bit OOC, but, corrections are appreciated.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or review when you can, 'cuz they can help. Follow me on tumblr - @kara-vika
> 
> Stay safe! - obenio.
> 
> EDIT: Found minor typos and fixed them. Yikes!


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